Sunday, April 25, 2010

Your agent has ended your mission for not attaining more women

CrazyKinux is up to another blog banter! LETS DO THIS! http://www.crazykinux.com/2010/04/eve-blog-banter-special-edition-ladies.html

We all love Eve Online, "we" pertaining to the huge male population of players in Eve. Of course we could really do with a few more women in the game, in fact alot more would be great! I just happened to find myself at home with a friend working on some boring project when the topic changed from the project to games. Now my friend is kinda of a gamer geek like me so she and I had a basis for conversation, we talked about oblivion and the good ol' days of runescape. Then I shifted the topic to Eve Online, her reply was "oh, so its not one of those dumb games?". at this point i blacked out from a seizure and woke up in the hospital seven days later. I'm just kidding. She had a problem with the advertisement as there are so many other sidebar advertisements of "racy" games such as that pathetic time drainer called "Evony" that she never really wanted to check out Eve Online. So I did what any good Eve Online player would do. No, we did not make love in my Megathron Battleship. In fact I let her play the game for a bit and explained most of its details, alright I explained some of the more basic things because Eve Online is so expansive its hard to explain all of it. She liked the game and how "its just one giant sandbox" in fact thats what she loved most about it. She liked the graphics obviously but when I showed her how to make a new character and the process involved. Her head exploded. Eventually she came to the conclusion that Eve Online was boring, she didnt want to do constant missioning for precious isk and the mining part was dreadful. She also poitned out that with the pvp there was too much risk and when I asked her what she meant her reply was this. "during pvp you lose everything if you get shot down and you have the possibility of losing SP if you get podded. thats too much risk, and girls dont like that. Girls want a game that they can play, lose the match battle or whatever and not lose so much." This is where the conversation trailed off and ended wtih return to work on the project of searching for a good local college to visit and maybe apply to in the future. The topic of customizing ships was also mentioned but it seems like such a thing would be very hard to accomplish, and a change in the high risk pvp arena in which we play would well in my opinion make us have a higher percentage of girl players after all the pvper's quit because Eve turned into a "Everyone is a winner" game. So I think the problem lies within maybe a new advertisement that isnt "stupid" i think hteir fine to be honest and or a new character creation process which i myself think is quit confusing especially with everything after it; constant missioning for skills and whatnot. I prefer the old system better but hey, thats just me and maybe thats a possible area for improvement. But until such things are changed, I think we should continue to fly as we always have and just keep converting other gamers men and women but mostly men to Eve Online. Thats just my take on it.

Fly Safe,
Highspeedlimo

Heres a list of other respected Eve-tologists (yes thats a word question it and ill pod you):

getting in touch with our feminine side

The Ladies of New Eden

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Damned Chef

Part I

The sound of boiling water constantly steamed into the room. Frying pans and other cooking utensils were scattered throughout the small Japanese style kitchen. Seaweed rolls haphazardly covered the far right wall, while on the opposite side steamed white rice powdered the wall. The raw fish selection had been overturned and all the raw foods covered the floor. Imamura Kyoshi’s unconscious body was lying among them. Face covered in wasabi and other spicy Japanese sauces.
His brother Chiba Kyoshi surveyed the scene. Wondering what had befallen his brother, he hadn’t bothered calling the police. He was a freelance detective and had already decided to resolve this matter on his own. He flicked out his tape recorder as he wandered around the scene. The kitchen was absolutely trashed and Chiba had a firm belief in what had happened. “It appears to be a robbery, signs of vandalism are very evident” he toned into his recorder. He moved into the back entrance where the door was. He tested it. It was still locked and firmly in place. “There appear to be no signs of forced entry in the back entrance”, this was only getting more irritating.
Chiba moved on heading back to the front entrance taking a look into the seating area. It was completely empty and void of any catastrophe. “The entrance is clear of vandalism and there appears to be no forced entrance so the restaurant must have been open at the time of the assault”. Chiba continued his circuit throughout the entire restaurant taking notes and voicing his ideas on the matter. Then he heard it.
It was soft at first, and then it came louder, a banging noise coming from the kitchen. Chiba’s hand flew to his holstered six shooter. “Easy now, no need to be hasty”, he said to himself relaxing, but keeping a firm grip on the gun. He walked past his unconscious brother and moved cautiously to the locked door of the storage room. “Help” came the cry and the pounding ensued tenfold.
“My name is Detective Chiba! I’m here to help you, now step back from the door!” Chiba unlatched the door then kicked it inn while drawing his gun in one fluid motion. A terrified dish cleaner awaited him, shivering and covered in a whole platter of stains. “What the hell?”
A few minutes later the still shaking dish cleaner that worked for his Imamura was seated across from Chiba at a table. An ambulance squatted outside where paramedics where seeing to Imamura. “This conversation will be recorded, so please just answer to the best of your ability. You aren’t under oath so just answer the question. What happened here?”




Part II

The restaurant opened at one in the afternoon, it was basically a typical day. A good amount of customers coming in and out and Imamura did all the cooking as usual and I washed all the dishes. After the rush ended which started at around six and ended at nine we usually have a few stragglers, at most three people. At ten we closed and since I live here in the upper part bed chambers, I stay up late washing all the dishes. And then I end up cleaning up the whole place as well. Last night was different.
We played some tile games; I forget what it was called. He beat me every single round he told me it was because I dye my hair all the time and all the chemicals go to my head. I just told him kiss a bowl of wasabi. Then this strange feeling creeps up my spine and before I know it, this bowl of wasabi went whipping through the air right over my head and into his face.
I was lucky because I had ducked but, from Imamura’s view it looked like I had thrown it. “You piece of no good trash how dare you throw wasabi in my restaurant! I’ll give you a hiding you won’t ever forget and ill make your hide so raw!” the creepy feeling came crawling up my spine again and a handful of sticky rice slaps me full in the face. At this point we both realized neither of us had thrown food at the other.
“Whose there!” he shouted reaching for his cutting board knife, before his hand touched it, the knife flicked from the board and into the far wall into the center of the lotus painting.
“Imamura! I have a bad feeling about this.”
Right after the words left my lips, all hell broke loose. The Invisible force that I had been feeling forced itself through the room. Pots and pans clanged to the floor and food started whipping about slapping us in our faces. Then the knives started flying. I dove behind a counter as they slammed into the cupboards, which opened and dumped my cleaned dishes on top of me shattering them in the process. I ran for the storage room which was open and I dove inside closing the door behind me as the whirlwind continued inside the kitchen. I heard Imamura screaming and cursing, “You damned chef! Get outta my city kitchen!”
Then I heard a table being overturned and a loud smash, and Imamura stopped screaming. I tried opening the door but it was locked from the outside. Then I felt the pressure all around me again and after that I don’t remember anything else.

Part III

Chiba stopped the digital tape recorder and looked across the table at the dish washer, “Listen I understand you don’t want to tell me about what you did. As you can see the recorder is off, so what are you on?” The dish washer stuttered, “W-what!? You think I was high! It happened I swear!”
Chiba just shook his head getting up and left the restaurant. A few officers waited outside “okay you two listen closely there was a burglary here and that’s my official statement, also I want the kid to be taken in for drug testing see if anything comes up positive. That is all your dismissed”, the two officers took the dish washer boy and left in their patrol car while Chiba got into his Hyundai Elantra and drove off to the hospital where his brother lay in a medicated coma. Chiba arrived shortly after leaving the restaurant and he was ushered into his brother’s room after waiting half an hour in the stifling waiting room. The place smelled like sick people.
Imamura was swathed in bandages the obscured his oriental face. A small bag with his belongings sat beside his table and an old television sat in the corner opposite of him, for when he woke up. Chiba kneeled down next to his brother and whispered a prayer, being very religious he placed his cross necklace upon his brother’s chest, praying that the good god would be with him.
He retired himself to the bedside chair and waited, simply waited. It was only about twenty minutes until the boredom settled in, and his interest shifted from his brother to his brother’s possessions. He opened the bag and took out the contents, a cell phone, I-pod, a planner, and “The pocket book of recipes”. He opened the planner to the marked page with the corner folded.
The contents between the page spilled out, there were three letters, one addressed to him, on addressed to Ookami Toushiro, and one addressed to “The Chef”. Chiba guessed Toushiro was the dish washer. And he hastily opened the letter addressed to him.

Part IV

Dear Chiba,
My brother if you are reading this it means something has happened to me. It means it has got me. My restaurant is cursed brother, by the damned chef. He bothers me day and night, taking my things, stealing supplies. Most of the time he spikes the food with various sauces causing some of my customers to go running to the water fountain! He’s mostly harmless but sometimes he can get out of hand. I ask you to take over my restaurant; we can’t let his existence be known. If it was, think of all the media and how the scientists would try to do something, capture him even. He is a smart one, that damned chef. He can also be of great help; he gave me all the ideas to all my recipes, although his mischief can get over bearing at times. Since I’ve probably fallen to one of his endless pranks no doubt I am still alive, just unconscious, he plays rough at times when you don’t leave a wasabi roll outside the storage room. The recipe for it is in my small pocket book of recipes on the very last page. I ask you to return to the restaurant at once and make the roll for him, also there is no doubt that my dish washer Toushiro was involved in this as well. Please give him the letter addressed to him and I’m sure he’ll understand the instructions. Take care brother; oh and please give the damned chef his letter! He might miss me if I stay away for too long.

Sincerely,
Imamura Kyoshi.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Pans Labyrinth Review

The Labyrinth of Films

Pans Labyrinth stays true to its name and it leaves you lost in your decision whether or not to demand you money back.

At first glance this movie seems alright. The real world and magic world are intertwined both edging to become the one true reality. But it’s not enough and in the end the movie is lacking.

This movie takes place in Spain, during May and June in 1944 after the civil war and during Franco’s Spain. Ofelia (played by Ivana Baquero) is a little girl who has a love for fairy tales and fantasy books. She moves to a mill up in the mountains with her mother who is pregnant and is getting ill. Carmen (played by Ariadna Gil) is married to Captain Vidal (played by Sergi Lopez I Ayats) who is a cruel and unfriendly man. He is ruthless, cold, and prefers the company of men rather than women. Ofelia meets Mercedes (played by Maribel Verdu) who becomes her caretaker and overseer when Carmen cannot. Ofelia is lured into the Labyrinth by a fairy where she meets the faun and is given three tasks to return to her world and become Princess Moanna. The characters are the core to this story keeping it real and interesting, to an extent.

If someone could get me an enormous coke to make up for this horrible performance that would be great. Predictability, you can almost say what is coming out of characters mouth before they say it. Although you might not think in Spanish you can guess what they will say in English. Ofelia the little drama queen in the movie runs about dilarious trying to choose between worlds. Her character acts brave for her age and that is hardly believable and on top of that when she eats from the feast table and gets chased wouldn’t she have run faster? She was basically walking back to the door! This film is like a replay of Little Red Riding Hood and as good as that was, it isn’t working for this film. Guillermo Del Toro attempts to milk the story for everything its worth, and he succeeds. Not only does he kill a typical childhood story plot he ruins these actors careers by putting them into this film. Sure they make out fine, but seriously who wants to put Pans Labyrinth in their memoirs as a film they were in? Not me surely. The plot was easy enough to follow, just read Little Red Riding Hood or some other childhood fairy tale and it’s practically the same thing.

Isn’t there anything that will make this movie half decent? Well let’s just hope the production crew has their thinking caps on. They do, and throughout the entire film the set design crew and special effects crew wow the audience repeatedly. The faun is voiced over, did anyone notice? No? As it should be, these men and women of the production crew are professionals and everything is done exquisitely. From the crumbling and vine covered walls of the labyrinth to the animated features of the faun and his fairies everything is complete in its beauty, even though the Labyrinth is spooky It’s still made beautiful by the set designers.

The film was a slap in the face to the fantasy genre it really was. It was a disappointment at every turn except for its special effects, it failed my expectations. I expected to be moved by performances and heartfelt during the sad moments, instead I almost laughed at the ending, it was a joke. I recommend this film for people new to the fantasy genre as it’s easy to understand, otherwise I’d advise against it. I give this film two eaten pixies out of five.

Friday, February 26, 2010

New Immortal

“These plains are ours! This is our homeland and no Stellwin dog will ever! Ever! Dare step foot upon our soil after this day is done!” I thunder, my voice amplified by the sorcerer’s spell. Banging shields and the roars of men greeted my voice.

“Hail Prince Felix!”

“Hail Prince Felix!” they chant in unison. I raise my hands to stop they’re cheers and I look out across my army laid before me. “We shall smite them with such a mighty blow that their cities across the great sea will shudder and collapse!” I shout raising my right arm clenching my fist in the air. The thousand cavalrymen that I commanded immediately took to their mounts, and the sound of a thousand feet touching stirrups filled the air. I gestured to the large infantry force marching towards our position atop the raised plateau.

“On my mark!” I cry out drawing my curved saber. Honor guards moved forward flanking me; they were the sons of nobles. Bred to be strong and without fear which showed now as we faced an army of Stellwin a country who fielded the strongest infantry forces in the world. The suns hot rays beat down upon us and sweat started bead upon my brow, but I dared not wipe it off knowing my men could mistake it for nervousness. I take a large deep breath and the knight mages in my ranks take note of this and start readying their spells.

“For Periria!” I roar kicking the sides of my horse and riding forward sword pointed in the direction of General Peregrine’s army. My battle cry was echoed a thousand times over by my men now charging behind me. Lightning arced out from my knight mage bodyguards smiting the front ranks of the infantry. Arrows followed suit riddling our enemies’ shields as we draw closer. They are only a hundred paces away now and I can clearly see the determination stamped on everyman’s face. I scream a wordless scream pulling my sword arm back to prepare for the first strike, then the shield wall in front of us shifts. Now a wall of lances faced us and there was no stopping my charge. I was going to die, I thought to myself, and with that I felt my body collapse around a wooden lance. Everything went dark.

I opened my eyes, but I didn’t feel them open. I didn’t feel anything except the cold which was an oddity as Periria is always hot or at least pleasantly warm. I get up feeling light, what happened and then it came to my and my arms flew to my gut. I looked down and I saw to my horror my crumpled body on the ground below me. I had become a ghost I knew it the second I laid my eyes upon my dead body. Sorcerers had taught me all about the after life I looked about my ghost person studying my horrifyingly disfigure body.

I looked around the battlefield, many had died on the lances and the infantry had broken our charge then slaughtered us by the hundreds. Broken shields and swords layered the ground, we had been defeated and I felt the shame gnawing at my gut. It would only be a matter of time before Death arrived and took me to the afterlife where I would rest or suffer after his judgment. I wasn’t going to let my afterlife hang in the balance of fate and I reached into the folds of my ghastly armor and pulled out the charm. It was still there and would still work if my sorcerers were correct. I waited hand resting idly on my saber; the distant plateau glowed in the light of numerous camp fires where the Stellwin army now rested. They would die by the end of this night.

His footsteps were silent, but I could clearly here them regardless. I turned around facing Death in his blackened robes, his cowled face, and his scythe that had claimed all before me. “Well you know why I’m here” he rasped with a voice barely audible over silence. I only smiled, my saber appeared in my hand before he could say anything else and I lunged forward point first. He jumped back and brought his scythe over his head then brought it down. The scythe slashed the air where I had been only a moment before as I rolled to the side.

“You should stop trying to escape death.” Death said mockingly, his voice now the only thing clear in my senses. It was overpowering but, the charm in my armor kept my mind free of his power. I darted forward feinting to the left with my saber, he moved to block it sending his scythe out in front of him in a parry. At the last second I pulled my saber in, twisted on the spot and kicked out with my right leg knocking the scythe from his hands. He lunged desperately to grab it but I slammed my saber into his back sending him sprawling to the ground. I snatched up the scythe feeling its power coursing into my ghastly form making it solid once again.
“No, you musn’t do that!” cried Death realizing my intentions as I took out the charm from my armor.

“Oh but I shall!” I cry defiantly wrapping the charm around the scythe raising it over my head. “All who were once dead! Now rise to be undead!” A blinding flash filled the air and a thousand ghastly forms rose into the night, the once grand army of Periria had risen from the realm of the dead.

“Now my comrades! An army of Stellwin rests upon our plateau! Let us take it back and then and only then shall we return to our ever rest!” I roar. “Charge!” and a thousand war cries cut into the night once again, met moments later by the screams of horror.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Civil Disputes Part 1

Part I: Raid

Captain Fe had been on the councilor Ivan’s security force for sixteen years. From the time he had joined as a low ranking recruit he had worked his way up to be the captain of the squad. As captain he had the right to choose his second in command. He chose his longtime friend and brother in arms, Marcus Jean-pier now known as Sergeant Pier. The two of them were charged with guarding the councilor during his daily activities. He was currently in his office with councilor Kai during another one of their daily meetings.

Together the two councilors had strengthened bonds between their two cities. Councilor Ivan, who had a large military force, would send troops to councilor Kai so he could protect his assets. And in return councilor Kai sent raw materials and other products that his industrialized city made to councilor Ivan. Unfortunately local groups had learned of this under the table dealing and had been revolting and attacking public places, in an attempt to get back at the government. Many attempts on other political heads had caused captain Fe to worry so he had stepped up security around the councilor’s office building.

Captain Fe chinned his squads’ com link. “All sectors, tell me you status, over.”
“Sector one clear sir”
“Sector two clear sir”
“Sector three clear sir”
“Sector four clear sir” the hissing of static followed sector four’s report. “Sector five, what’s your status over?” more static. Sergeant Pier gave the captain a concerned look. “Can someone give me a visual of sector five? Over” There was no response over the com channel. “All sectors respond. NOW!” the only response was the hissing of static. Captain Fe and Sergeant Pier both flicked off the safeties on their rifles, and burst into the councilor’s office.

The two startled councilor’s looked up from their table, which had a strange device on top of it. Captain immediately recognized it for what it was. An antimatter power cell, which would be worth millions once sold to the empire. “Sir’s your lives are in danger please follow me, immediately! We have lost contact with the perimeter guards.” The councilor’s shared a grave look and they moved the device into a compartment under the councilor Ivan’s desk. Captain Fe held the door open as the two councilors hurried out. He and sergeant Pier followed them down the hall taking them towards the main exit were the councilor Ivan’s private Hovercar was waiting. As they entered the main lobby, the sound of breaking glass came from the office. The building had been breached!

The group sped up. Taking two steps at a time heading towards the ground floor. The power cut, and the room went dark. As the group reached the ground floor the emergency power came on filling the room with a bluish glow. The councilors started heading past the front desk as captain Fe and sergeant Pier looked back towards the office where the sound of breaking furniture was coming from. They had their backs turned to the front desk. They didn’t see the young man rising from behind it aiming a sub machine gun at the backs of the retreating councilors.

He opened fire, cutting the two councilors down in an instant. Captain Fe and sergeant Pier turned and fired as one dropping the man with several shots to his chest and head. The two of them ran over to the councilors bodies and checked for a pulse. Neither of the councilors were alive. “Quick behind the front desk!” hissed captain Fe, and the two of them dived over the counter and put their backs up to the table. Preparing for the fight to come, both of them set clips of ammunition next to them on the floor for easy access, as the first of the intruders entered the room.

***

Ty-Noran scanned the room with his infrared goggles spotting the councilors bodyguards huddled behind the front desk. He silently motioned to Barakur and Kyre then pointed to the front desk. They nodded and readied the grenade launchers that were attached to their sub machine guns. “Kill them’ ordered Ty-Noran his voice a barely audible whisper. The grenade launchers fired, one after the other obliterating the front desk, and causing a portion of the wall to collapse onto it


Barakur and Kyre readied their launchers for another volley but Ty-Noran shook his head “that won’t be necessary” he said as he pulled out his earpiece and tapped into the encrypted channel. As he and his associates waited at the top of the steps. Sol’s calm voice came out of the earpiece, “well?”
“The mission was a success.”
“Excellent! So you have the device?”
“Yes, but we lost Mori, the councilors bodyguards killed him.”
“I see, I’m trusting you disposed of the guards? We wouldn’t want anyone discovering our mission before it has been accomplished.”
“Yes, I had Barakur and Kyre blow up the desk they were hiding behind” This brought a laugh from the other end, “good work! Ty-Noran, now please come back to base at once so we may prepare the weapon.”

Ty-Noran ended the com link. “Let’s go” he said, turning back towards the way he had come in, Barakur and Kyre wordlessly hurriedly followed him out of the lobby.
If they had stayed a mere moment longer they would have noticed that part of the collapsed wall was moving. And after they had left the councilors building, an entire section moved and was lifted by a dark figure in the combat gear of the councilor Ivan’s security captain. Captain Fe had survived, but barely. He knew he had a few broken ribs and as he coughed up blood he figured a punctured lung as well.
He tried to stand but he fell down. Screaming as the pain wracked his entire body. He almost blacked out but he held onto consciousness for a moment longer. Giving him just enough time to send a distress signal to the nearby militia barracks. Then, the world went dark for Captain Fe.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Nothing in the dark

The dark fantasy genre is mostly associated with death, disease, and other dark things and “Nothing in the dark” was a good example. An old woman is afraid of death and is constantly in fear, so she lives in a ramshackle of a building until one day she lets in what she believes to be an injured police officer. Only after the contractor leaves she realizes that the police man was Mr. Death. He talked and eventually convinced her that she wasn’t afraid of dying just afraid of the unknown, and that it was alright to be scared. And that everything would be fine. Eventually the old woman’s fear of death dwindles enough that she takes his hand, she asks “When will we start?” and then soon realizes that she is already dead, and realizing that it isn’t painful or brutal. She walks along with Mr. Death to face the unknown and move on.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

A Cave in Afghanistan

Abdahul stepped into the sanctuary of the cave seeking its shade and a brief respite, instead of the withering heat just outside in the bright Afghani sun. It was windy and as Abdahul stepped in the dust whipped into his eyes and he moved deeper into the tunnel avoiding the stinging sand, as he trudged along something caught his nose. The sharp smell of gunpowder snapped at his nose and he suddenly became aware of the others that were in the cave. But, the freedom fighters paid him no notice and he continued inward. As he left what little sunlight there was behind him at the entrance he noticed the dull glow of artificial lights up ahead in a larger cavern and he shuffled a bit faster to get inside. Upon entering the first thing Abdahul noticed was the abundance of weapons and ammunition, ak-47’s were leaning in rows against the cavern wall to his right and right alongside him was a row of boxes brimming with unused shells, and right behind that was an even larger box with what looked like pieces of metal and wire melded together but Abdahul knew them for the bombs that they were. He continued along his stomach growling at him now and he hoped they would give him food this time as he entered another cavern off to the side.

The smells of cooking caressed his delicate nose as he entered and he found that the majority of the fighters were here. In the dim light of this caver Abdahul could barely see the fighters lounging about, eating bread and cooked goat meat on low tables. At the very center of the cavern was the cooking fire and the cook was busily roasting spits of meat out over the fire and Abdahul could not help but, carefully trod around the groups huddled about the room and get a spit of meat himself. The cook smiled recognizing him and held out a spit for him which he gladly took and took a big bite out of savory the flavor. Finishing his food quickly he moved into the back of the cavern and edged through another tunnel into an even smaller cavern where the sound of trickling water could be heard and the stench of unwashed clothing permeated the room. Abdahul rolled up the sleeves on his robes and grabbed the first pile of grimy clothing; it was time to get to work.